Scenario two: Randy was sitting at circle Monday morning. This is the circle that the teacher 'assigns' chores for the week. First, Randy had been picking his nose and the teacher said, "Randy, you were picking your nose. Please go wash your hands." The other children all looked at him and he refused to go. The teacher again told him to go wash his hands and he crossed his arms and slumped down. The assistant teacher went over to go help him up and take him to the sink; Randy bolted away from circle and ran and hid under the bottom steps of the loft. There was no way for an adult to reach him. When he finally came out, the teacher tried to use positive reinforcement and announced, "Good job Randy, I'm glad you chose to come out. Go wash your hands and you can come back and join us; I'll wait." Randy immediately bolted under the steps again. Every time he came out (twice more) she made the same comments. Finally, after some gently prodding from the assistant teacher, Randy washed his hands and quietly joined circle. When it came time to assign tasks the teacher chose the children; Randy wasn't one of them. He had been assigned a task last week and the teacher didn't think it was fair to give it to him two weeks in a row; plus he hadn't sat for circle like everyone else. When she dismissed everyone from circle he went over to the table and threw all the chairs down; still mad that he wasn't chosen for a chore. When asked to pick them up he got really upset and began ripping the paper in the art area and was basically out of control. At this point, the teacher is playing "protect the others" and is basically keeping the other children away from him and blocking objects that are flying across the room.
My comments: First, let's address the hand washing. Randy was embarrassed to be called out in front of everyone. If the teacher had called him up (very casually saying, "Randy, come here I have something to tell you") and whispered in his ear "you need to go wash your hands please" he probably would have done it with no problem. Even if he had bolted under the stairs, when he came out if she hadn't said anything he may have just done it on his own. Even if he had joined circle at that point, the hand washing could have waited; there are a lot more germs floating around. He could have been gently reminded at dismissing circle, "Randy, you can go wash your hands and find something to do."
Now, for the chores. Give Randy something to do every week! Is it "fair"? No...and yes. As I've mentioned before, it is fair if it's what that child needs. He needs to feel important every day; he gets a special job every day. That is what set off the rest of the episode. The whole thing could have been avoided just by having assigned him a job.
Once he is mad, though, there are some tactics that can be used to calm him back down, we'll get into that a bit later.
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