11/06/2009

Consistency and stubbornness

Always the most important thing about discipline is consistency.

 

Sometimes, the most important thing about discipline is stubbornness, and not the child’s.  Sometimes you have to out stubborn a child and be willing to fight to the end.

I don’t mean FIGHT, but don’t cave.

The other day I was in a classroom in which there is a child who is like a bull in a china shop.  He is just all over the place, ramming into other children, knocking things over, etc…  It isn’t even like he’s an unknowing bull in a china shop.  He knows exactly what he is doing.  He will look squarely at a child, walk over and knock into them or knock over what they are doing.

He was alone in the home living area and he literally opened the toy cabinet doors, stuck his arm in, and swept EVERYTHING on the floor.  When the substitute went over to him and told him to clean it up, he made a beeline for the exit point…she stopped him.

He whined…she sat.

He swung his arm back…she stared.

He tried to push by…she stood firm.

He whined some more…she sat some more.

He cried…she calmly explained, “You need to clean up your mess.  I will help you, but you need to clean up the mess you made.”

This cycle continued….for FORTY FIVE MINUTES!!!

She remained calm and unfazed by his behaviors.

This is the first time in TWO MONTHS of attendance that he cleaned up his destruction.

Why?  Because she didn’t cave. 

After he was done, he SMILED at the substitute, laughed with her, got a book and asked her to read to him.

This is the first time in TWO MONTHS of attendance that he asked to have a book read to him.

The teacher learned something new.  She’s been trying to be “understanding” with him; she’s tried to just talk him through.  She never tried to out stubborn him.

Sometimes, you just have to out stubborn them.

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