Folow up

Last Friday I posted this. It was a long weekend. One thing I hate more than anything is failing a child. That's exactly how I had felt; that I had failed her somehow. Did I not train a teacher right? Should I have been in there at this time? Could I have changed something in the classroom that may have lead up to this? Did I do everything I could while administering first aide? And on and on and on.

Of course, having a weekend to think about it didn't help either. Nothing like a sleepless night worrying over something you have no control over; there is nothing I can do for her now except hope and pray that her finger heals well. However, there are things I can do in the classroom. Where I did fail her was not redirecting a teacher's behaviors that may have lead to this incident. I had been in that classroom in the past and seen the same girl hovering by the door after drop off. Instead of addressing the teacher, I addressed the child; encouraging her to go to the tables and help the assistant teacher set up. The next occasion, I helped her find something to do again, and addressed the teacher "She needs to find something to do away from the door." But she must not have taken me very seriously. Note to self: make teachers aware of the gravity of a situation before it gets out of control.

So, I have learned from this. No, I would never have known that I needed to be in the classroom. We were covered and I had things to get done in my office (reports and such). It's not my responsibility to be in the classroom watching over the children, that's what I entrust my teachers to do. However, it is my job to make sure that they are doing everything they can to keep the chidlren safe...could I have done more? I guess I will never really know. I will, however, always think I could have done more. It's just my nature. I was put on this earth to protect and love children...in my mind I failed this time.

It's not the first, and probably not the last; however it is the last time I will fail in this way. I do learn from my mistakes, as we all do. I will now be able to look back on this, wish it didn't happen, but know that I will make sure it doesn't happen again.

The child is doing okay. They were able to sew on the skin and are hoping for the best the the circulation will continue through the finger; they are keeping a close eye on it for the next week or so as it heals. It will take a while to heal completely, but it will be a long road. She was most definitly in a lot of pain this weekend; curbed by the pain relievers they gave her. I wish I could take the pain for her. I'll update you as we know more.